Friday, February 25, 2011

The Struggle Hill Mall

Thought it pains me to admit it, sometimes I can't get everything I need in one place. I wish I never had to leave the warm comforting arms of Struggledelphia for any reason at all. I wish I could have unlimited wealth and access to a never ending store of cupcakes as well.But given that I work in the arts and I don't want to end up on one of those horrible weight loss shows, neither of those things look like they are going to happen any time soon. And neither can I stay in Struggledelphia forever. Sometimes the winds of fate and sands of destiny (why....would destiny want sand? It gets in everything. Just saying.) compel me to to seek my fortune elsewhere, and so I must venture forth and explore the wilds of civilization beyond the reach of our fair city. And so it was, with a heavy heart and a warm coat, that I ventured, last weekend, to the Cherry Hill Mall.

The Cherry Hill mall is located, surprisingly enough, in Cherry Hill, New Jersey, the sight of many white collar crimes, 50's style diners, and single level shopping centers. Plus they also have a Wegmans not too far away. Basically, it's everything you could ever want without anything you actually need. As an urbanite, I'm fascinated with malls, and I always have been. Plants! Mall walkers! Hot Topic! (Have you ever seen a Hot Topic outside of a mall? Think it through.) Malls seem to have a plethora of stores and businesses that do not exist outside of their air conditioned climate controlled food courted halls. I certainly have never thought about the Mall as a social activity. I thought people only "hung out" in malls in movies, Fast Times at Ridgemont High springs to mind. Oh, gentle readers, I could not have been more wrong....

This is a mall modeling talent search. It looks like they got some winners. 
This is not good parenting. 
This does not seem like a great deal. 
This is how New Jersey does hair. 
This is not a store I've ever seen in real life. This is a man, on the verge of the silent scream
This is another way New Jersey does hair. 
This is another imaginary store. 
This is what Betty Friedan was talking about. 
This is me. I am not amused. 

I really hope Struggledelphia gets a Forever 21 soon. Because I'm not relishing going back out to New Jersey and living through that grotesque carnival of human misery again....I'm completely kidding. I love that place. Bring it on, New Jersey, I can take it. 


  1. hah! that's so funny, the only reason that i go to the cherry hill mall is for the forever21, too. i've seen some really freaking horrid outfits there - including one man who was wearing nothing but jeans and a leather vest.

  2. Hmm, I think I've only been to the Cherry Hill Mall once... I normally go to King of Prussia, which is probably just as guilty for being a typical suburban mall, but there is a Forever 21. And 2 H&Ms and a million imaginary stores :)

  3. Right? Right? Why else go? Honestly, it's just a crazy place. But King of Prussia is actually further it's gas versus tolls, I suppose! At least Jersey has liquor...

  4. HAHA love all the hair pics!

  5. Why must trashy always start with the hair?